Statement of Philosophy

These words of wisdom come from the former Coordinator Bern Bradley, whose 13 years of experience at the Daycare, taught her (and the parents who worked with her) the following.

What I believe:

• Children want to know the rules. They want to know what we expect from them and what they can count on from us. If we don't know, they will push us to commit to something-even if (ironically) it's against their own best interests. That's why routine is so important. Even if we are tired, distracted, sick, etc., a set of routines can support us by what has already been established, and reassure our children that they can count on us even when we are not being "ourselves."
• Children do not want to establish the rules or be in charge. They look to us for that. In fact, it is scary for them when they feel there is an expectation they cannot meet. We are the protectors, the comforters. Most children practice being in charge, protecting and comforting at about age 3 when dramatic play occupies a good deal of their time. But in real life, they want us to be the grown-ups. They need us as models for their dramatic play now and later when they are really in those roles.
• Children are able at a very young age to distinguish between adult styles and personalities. Personality/style differences seldom need to be pointed out to kids. They quickly distinguish what our strengths and weaknesses are. Sometimes when a child seems confused or upset by a particular adult's style, after you have determined there is no other reason for this upset, you might clarify this for them, "Bob's voice sure sounds grouchy! But I like him." Or, "Sally likes you looking at her earrings, but she doesn't like you pulling them."
• Children can pretty smoothly adapt to different places, e.g., grandparents' homes, a waiting room, church/temple, etc., and the different rules that go with different places, as long as we point out the rule changes for them: "Grandma doesn't want you in her bedroom. I don't mind it at our house, but she does." "Why?" the child may ask. "It's her private space (or whatever reason). It is just her rule." If the child persists with the "whys", repeat your response until the child accepts the firm rule.
• Children's "testing" might better be called "checking"-to see if what they believed yesterday is still true today. Our job is to let them know, to reestablish that the rule still holds true, even if we seem noticeably more tired or more relaxed than we were yesterday.